The Feeling of Family

This has been imprinting on my heart for awhile, now. Having felt it, ruminated, turned it over and over to form a soft warm cocoon of silken love, it's time to blog about it.

If you have been cut off from family like I have, for as many years, you might be able to relate.
If you can't relate, that's a good thing.

Having been cut off from family for as long as I have, it would be cruel punishment to wish such a thing  on others.

On Saturday (August 12) I drove the 60 miles north to spend the day with a beloved family member. He's very dear to my heart. Sensitive, funny, intelligent, caring, inquisitive, capable, responsible....I could go on & on.
He knows just about everything about me yet he still loves me.
Without conditions, without reservation.
He loves me.

It's a rare occurrence for me. It's something I have had to adjust to, to live without it for so long. The feeling of being with someone with whom a shared history, a shared familiarity, even life blood, genetics, there's rarely anything that can come closer to my heart than this.

We talked, laughed, drove around Sheppard AFB, shared food, grocery shopped.

Then......he did something that only someone who truly cares would do.

He fixed my car!

He has extreme knowledge of engines, how they work, what can go wrong, plus ~ how to fix it when it goes sideways!

I miss that, deep in my heart, I miss that!

It's second nature, for me, to be desirous to help others. Taking care of whatever it is that they need which they would have great difficulty taking care of for themselves.

It's a rare thing when someone offers to take care of me.

Truly take care of me, doing that for me which I'm incapable of or lack the knowledge to do.
FYI ~ I'm quite capable, quite self sufficient on my own. So, yeah, it's a rare incident when there is something that I can't do for myself.
Then ~ this is the tough part ~ trusting another person to help me without feeling they are setting me up to manipulate me into doing something for them!
Having dealt with some shady characters who use manipulation vs having a simple conversation, is something that many predatory people have tried to use on me.
Tried, I say, tried, most often failed.

So, I'm still feeling the sweetness of having spent a day in the company of someone who knows me well & still......still loves me!

Family is everything.

Living without it is something of an emptiness that one may not realize without the first hand experience.

Being happy in my life is an every day focus. Living without family, I simply press on until the time when I can have that soul sweetening experience, again.