Life works best when it's in balance!
So says the many people who are life coaches, life gurus, psychologists, philosophers, etc. Balance your diet, keep your work - personal - professional aspects in balance.
Balance your sleep, balance your eating, balance your spirituality or whatever have you.
Keep it moving, keep it in balance, peeps!
After reading the hype, actually taking one for a SPIN, lusting after one for a minute, it was time to treat myself.
Yupp, ha ha!
A brand new shiny Gaiam balance ball chair.
There were a few glitches in the ordering online process. We got there! We compared, we ordered, we waited. We tore the box opened & put it together LIKE A BOSSETTE!
Taking the ball to a local tire shop to get it aired up, home girl was skipping the hand pump. 😁
Finally, it was time to sit, stay.
It felt a bit weird at first. The ball is on rolling casters, so, it took a couple times of falling on my grass to learn how to grab onto the backrest, steady it, keep it in place. THEN, sit down.
Then?
Standing up. Mm Hm. Learning to stand straight up, very dependent upon glutes, hammies & feet planted firmly on the floor.
The alternative was more of falling on my grass again & again.
There were a few sensations that set in after day 1 of sitting on "la chair" while working. Being so focused on the work I was doing, it escaped notice, until I went to bed.
The buns were sore & had a little burn.
The thighs felt a bit tighter, the abs, too!
Nice bennies, balance ball chair!
Also, every few minutes or so, lifting my feet off the floor, raising my knees & doing a bit of gentle bouncing is fun.
Yes, there are other ways to get the same benefit, this was my choice!
I thought that buying & using my personal bidet was cool.
This was more than cool, it was ice hot!
When someone I spoke with, who is also using a balance ball, "the clench" was mentioned. Yupp. Have to clench the boo-tay to sit down, to stand up, several times to stay on the ball! (so punny).
The verdict?
I like it!
The chair is comfortable, gives the side benefit of strengthening the buns, thighs, abs & la clench. Ha ha!
Some people may like it, some, less so. It's a keeper for me!
Thursday, May 28, 2020
Monday, May 25, 2020
Something Beautiful
Life is a snowflake
a free falling star
a fragile reminder
of all that we are
Born of a raindrop
laced by the breeze
spinning through space
dancing through trees
A diamond of light
a gem of the sun
a journey of hope
a new life begun
by Charles Ghigna
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★☆☆★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
Wednesday, May 20, 2020
Tomorrow?
Tomorrow I'll wake up early to start my tasks anew
The setting sun took my inspiration replaced the light
With darkness and cricket song with barking of dogs
Tomorrow will be good
Tomorrow I will mostly ignore my dreadful cell phone
Preserving my focus my strength my personal goalpost
Motivation will be strong in the freshness of morning
Nature of tomorrow
While my mind is fresh from dreams with the sweet feels
Tackling all that I want to do with that which I need to do
Grabbing my list with such verve that propels me onward
Doing it tomorrow
When the cold prickles of negativity threaten me I will ignore
When the pangs of regret attempt to close in to distract me
Staying the course is the only way to see with tunnel vision
Tomorrow will be good
The moon is a classic waning crescent tonight as if knowing
Resting tonight will bring the success I wish for tomorrow
The stars above twinkle at me as if encouraging me onward
Retiring early for
Tomorrow's success
Tuesday, May 12, 2020
The Rise of Misogyny
Since the beginning of time, the world has been mostly dominated by men. If a woman was to have much of a happy life, she either had to remain single, enlist the help of men or both. A woman with a great sum of money, properties, etc. was highly sought after. Every man knew that by law, whatever the woman had would belong to him, she would have very little or no say in the matter, after the fateful for the female, wedding vows were made. Legal.
As soon as a woman married a man, everything of hers was no longer hers.
Even if she had a child from a previous relationship or marriage, the child became her husbands property, also. Even if she had worked to build a profitable business? Even if her fortune was from her family money, it was no longer hers.
If toads fell from her mouth or she laid golden eggs, she lost it all. Whatever toads fell from her mouth, whatever golden eggs she laid, became the property of the man she married.
As soon as a woman married a man, everything of hers was no longer hers.
Even if she had a child from a previous relationship or marriage, the child became her husbands property, also. Even if she had worked to build a profitable business? Even if her fortune was from her family money, it was no longer hers.
If toads fell from her mouth or she laid golden eggs, she lost it all. Whatever toads fell from her mouth, whatever golden eggs she laid, became the property of the man she married.
It has only been, at least in the USA, since 1960, that women and children were no longer property of their husbands & fathers. Males could as well as did, as they pleased regarding wives & children. If a man grew tired of or bored with or had any unpleasant situation, regarding his wife, he sometimes killed her if he was poor, put her away in a convent or asylum for the mentally/emotionally ill, if he was wealthy.
Likewise with the children.
They could be loaned out, put out, killed, used for sexual pleasure or even sold.
Boys were treated thusly until the age of 21 or until they could fight back. Girls were nearly mandated to live with their parents until they married. Most marriages were arranged for the girls, sometimes as wee as 14 yrs.
Rape was common. If a girl "got herself with child" it was her problem unless the father of the child was unmarried, willing to accept responsibility.
Those were very bleak times to be female.
Caveat ~ In spite of the 90% Negative - 10% positive romantic experiences with males, I still love men. I love their scent, their voices, their world views. I especially love it when I see or hear of a guy who truly strives to be a good person.
Testosterone is a VERY hard-to-handle force.
I know this first hand, as I have higher testosterone than most girls.
The more rights & advances females make, the more angry males are becoming. I see the misogyny online, mostly. It's a safe place for an angry male to, from his keyboard in anonymity, fire away at females.
Reducing them to T & A, using offensive sexist ploys to vent their anger & frustration at all females of the world, past & present, whoever hurt them or angered them or was simply female.
I see the barrage on social media, on Star Trek FB pages, of sexy school girls in Star Trek bikinis, the photos of men ogling their wives breasts in public. Looking closer at this, it actually looks like a camera angle misinterpreted to be whatever perversion some bloke online wanted it to mean.
I see the barrage on social media, on Star Trek FB pages, of sexy school girls in Star Trek bikinis, the photos of men ogling their wives breasts in public. Looking closer at this, it actually looks like a camera angle misinterpreted to be whatever perversion some bloke online wanted it to mean.
One day, on the Star Trek: Picard FB page, after the 5th sexist post within less than an hour, I protested.
What was the response?
The response was to stalk, skulk & dig around for the *ONE* post I had ever posted of an attractive topless man. That was just *ONE* post of mine vs 50 posts submitted & approved by an admin person, of scantily clad girls, some of these girls look to be around 16. Most of the males on the page are advanced in age sufficient to be the fathers & grandfathers of the girls they are ogling.
The admins have to approve the posts, most of the admins are male.
The women were silent except for one female admin who simply regurgitated something said by a male on the FB page.
Occasionally, a guy who sees the hatefulness & horny school boy immaturity being perpetuated, he will speak up. He is soon targeted by the prior mentioned, along with targeting me.
In truth?
This is only the surface of a bigger problem.
Along with the Japanese invasion of video entertainment, then, the addiction of video gaming, it has created a monster force of generations of disenfranchised males.
The feeling of winning, going to a higher level, the prestige of being revered by other gamers.
This has replaced the ambition & satisfaction that boys & men used to derive mostly from athletics, education, hard work, success & achievement.
Having watched this with horror, no one wants to hear about it, read it or even admit to it.
Having watched this with horror, no one wants to hear about it, read it or even admit to it.
Many of the ambitions to achieve status in life have been replaced with achievement of a higher game score, a higher level in World of Warcraft amongst a long list of other highly addictive activities.
Video gaming has shunted off the very essence of masculinity in males who used to have a firm handshake. It has been replaced by mushy palms & muscular thumbs. The golden appearance from being outdoors has been replaced by a pallor, red rimmed eyes. The weight gain from too many unhealthy snacks & highly caffeinated liquids to maintain a high energy level in gaming have also shunted off social skills needed to succeed at personal relationships.
There are too many males who are in their late twenties, 30s, even on into their 40s & 50s still playing online as they did in college or childhood or both.
Personally?
It is my belief that the semi death of masculinity from the Japanese invasion of detrimental very small, slow growth tech addiction, is only a part of the growing misogyny.
Another part is that the power shift is very uncomfortable for the male population. They no longer own their females & children.
Male domination was a very difficult position to lose.
Also, males are becoming feminized, beginning in public as well as sometimes private schools. A BIG mistake was to take away the breaks of recess throughout the school day.
Male domination was a very difficult position to lose.
Also, males are becoming feminized, beginning in public as well as sometimes private schools. A BIG mistake was to take away the breaks of recess throughout the school day.
Most male children NEED that physical activity throughout the day to be able to focus on their school work.
Some female children need it, too, however, that beautiful facet of the male born trait to be strong, to run, jump, to conquer, to achieve, is more common in male children.
So, early in life, males are being feminized. Then, addiction to substances (nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, etc) along with siphoning their innate desire to achieve into virtual lives online, video gaming, second lives, virtual lives.
Turning to pornography often goes hand in hand with computer interaction. It provides the same thrill.
Pornography lights up the same pleasure areas in the brain as second life & gaming.
Pornography lights up the same pleasure areas in the brain as second life & gaming.
Many males are wasting their children's childhoods. Many men are wasting time they could have spent strengthening their relationships with their wives as well as sacrificing time they could have better spent maintaining the bonds of friendship, along with their extended families.
Whether it's pornography, computer second lives & games, heroin, alcoholism. The result is the same.
Yes, there are women who do this, too, yet, unfortunately the vast majority are male.
For this, among many reasons, I admire men who spend their time improving their homes. Creating a beautiful living environment, building, improving their property. Getting out there to push their physical endurance.
**This is NOT to include professional, over paid athletes. **
I love to see the look of satisfaction on a mans face from a fence he built, a piece of furniture he created or re-finished, satisfaction in seeing a business he built, rise to be successful.
When a man can control his impulses to over indulge in unhealthy practices (we all need to indulge a little, time to time), he has already accomplished so much.
By turning toward that which will give him real satisfaction instead of the false sense of achievement in electronic pursuits, he edifies himself greatly. When he does this while maintaining self respect as well as courtesy to all with the natural gentlemanly attitude toward females, he has accomplished so much!
It is my belief that the voluntary, self disempowerment is at the root of the hatred or at least disdain that comes out in the mostly online misogyny.
The answer is for more men to be more masculine. Turning away from the substances which steal their ability, siphon off their social skills, give them a false sense of achievement.
Turning toward the wonderful traits of true, healthy masculinity. Take back that firm handshake, take back the feeling that being chivalrous gives. The art of truly being a gentleman.
Take back the feeling of being a good man who rises up from his pseudo electronic world, takes care of his responsibilities to his people.
Responsibilities to strengthen the relationships in his life, ultimately his world.
Mothers & Fathers will eventually pass on. Brothers & Sisters will, too, eventually.
Wives will feel the neglect.
Children will grow into adulthood.
Friendships will wither without time invested.
The list can continue on. The point has been made.
Friday, May 1, 2020
Stirrings in The Heart
When I lived in Colorado, there was an elderly gentleman that lived in a house just down the hill from the duplex I lived in. Most mornings, I would take my two yorkies down the hill for their morning walk. I noticed him occasionally looking out from his front window watching me with my dogs. One morning, I waved at him. He looked a little embarrassed as he slowly backed away from the window.
A month after that, I was in a local grocery store, I had dropped my water bottle. He leaned over, picked it up, handed it to me. Then, he realized that I was the one he had been watching, as I walked my boys (dogs) past his house in the mornings. We struck up a conversation. Somehow, it was as if we had known each other for a very long time.
He invited me over to his home for a cup of tea. His intentions were honorable. He was a bit lonely. His children never visited. His beloved wife had passed on 20 years earlier. It became almost a ritual. Walking my boys until they had done their business, were sufficiently worn out. My gentleman friend would put the kettle on for tea, I would stop by his spacious home for a cup of tea.
Our conversations were deep, among other topics, life & philosophy. We could even speak of religion, politics, spirituality with total comfort.
*********************************************************************
It was more than a decade in the years gone by
Still remembered so clearly it's enough to make me cry
He was a man just a man yet he was more than that to me
Per chance we met in the right time & place to be
His aged face held stories that could not be written nor told
Stories that can only be felt within the heart which can hold
A man of substance and such worth that the world would discount
As being too old too useless whose stories would never surmount
I saw him as he truly was not as the worlds people would surmise
In his voice there were many sonnets in his every gaze a sunrise
Many hours we sat in conversation connecting heart to heart
No romance no sexual angst just 2 people born many decades apart
Honoring him simply by lending an ever listening heart & mind
With all his wealth of life experience in treasures to ever find
It's a failing of all humans we shall all in bodies pass away
He longed to be with his beloved wife when he went to her that day
Knowing it was always in sight that he would pass on by and by
Thinking of that precious man makes me happy makes me cry
*******************************************************************
This song makes me think of him.
Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi
(you might have to copy & paste)
https://youtu.be/bCuhuePlP8o
******************************************************************************
The Ultimate
Many colloquialisms have been spouted & touted as truths. Testament to the belief that all people need other people. That everyone is incomplete without their someone(s). Even if that "someone" is a pet. A substitute for another human when humans have proven to be untrustworthy.
The pet could be a dog or a cat or even a horse or a mouse or a bird. For some, the unkindness of people has left them with more emotional pain than the poor soul could bear. Their faith in humanity was eroded away with each betrayal. With each fellow human who saw them as just another substance to get whatever they can, then disappear when the source either dried up or it was too easy, so they became bored.
Yes
There are precious souls in this world who found life on earth with fellow human beings to be more than they could bear. As the person retreats inside themselves with mental/emotional illness as their vehicle, they drift, barely surviving.
Some people will switch sides out of a need to self protect in survival mode.
They become like the predatory people who set their ultimate wheels in motion to join the predators they had no idea how to beat.
And so, it goes.
Cue in the dogma spouted by the perpetrators to begin with.
The sheeple will trounce happily along following the FOTD.
Questioners of dogma are often fighting a tough battle. These are the Nikola Teslas, Rasputins, Joseph Smiths, Queen Victorias even Elon Musks, Donald Trumps.
Maybe, in an alternate universe, Captain Jean Luc Picard. 🌃
They question, well, just about every theory, idea, dearly held belief that is popular during the time in which they live.
In time, it's shown that they were so far ahead of their time, a time when they were perceived as a brummagem of the world. To be mocked instead of being understood as they were more akin to a mentally intelligent simoom.
Unexpected, misunderstood, mocked behind their backs mostly, yet, sometimes to their faces.
How does one strike a balance?
These geniuses of the past & present sometimes chose to accustom themselves to being alone. Sometimes carefully choosing one to share their lives with, a mate who is strong enough to bear the scruitiny which is a part of their daily lives.
Rare, as rare as they, themselves.
As the title of this fully cognizant blog entry, The Ultimate, you might be wondering wth?
PEEPS!
The ultimate is a person, an every day person who is aware of their status as a pariah. Aware that they are misjudged, misunderstood, thought of as weird.
People like to believe they have others "figured out."
Put into a box for the comfort of the one boxing them.
People should only be put into a box when they are dead.
Those people who they can't "figure out" are dismissed, labeled as a psycho, a weirdo, a strange one. It's much easier to label another out of fear or laziness, unwilling to reach for understanding.
The ultimate in human greatness is to resist labeling, seeking to undertand.
It takes more effort to understand, while the reward is often so great. Worth more than any earthly treasure.
Seeking this understanding can often give eternal rewards.
Monday, April 27, 2020
Attachment & Severing From Cheeky Feckers
There are so many people out there in the world. Walking around with an emptiness inside. The world tells people that in order to be accepted by the world, people have to be in couples. Cue in the song:
You're Nobody 'Til Somebody Loves You
A perfect recipe for rampant codependency.
REALLY? REALLY NOW?
The sentiment of the song is well intentioned, I'm sure. However, it sends a dangerous message. The idea that there are thousands of nobody's out there in the world who are nobody's, predicated upon their marital status or their relationship status.
Single
Widowed
Divorced
Married
Separated
Widower
If you think these are romantic terms, umm, nope. These classifications were established by the government for taxation purposes. It makes me laugh, inside my head, when someone tells me they are "Separated".
Most often, it means that their spouse is at home with the children whilst they are out, away from their home, acting as if they were "Single", as in never married.
Male or female, it can be either.
A person saying they are "Separated", though only geographically, while implying it is a legal separation are practicing deep deceit. They should be ashamed, while mostly, they enjoy the feeling of getting away with something.
Then, there are those people who are shacked up or hooked up in some fashion who claim they are not "Single". Simply put, because they are doing whatever it is they do with whomever it is that they are doing it with. Until they do the blood test, get the marriage license, wear the fancy clothes, vow in front of witnesses to love, honor & cherish, eat the cake at the party? They are still single.
This endows the state of being married, because a certified person performed the ceremony to marry the two people. Married.
Most people seem to be happier with a companion, a mate, if you will, to share their life with. The world gives them more social approval because someone wanted them as a GF, BF or spouse.
The deep sadness & terror of the soul when that union is torn apart in whatever fashion for whatever reason, is gut wrenching. It causes pain & sadness to all whom it touches.
Bear with me.
One or both of those 2 people attached their hope for the future, their dreams of what they could accomplish in life, to the other person. It's a painful laceration of the psyche which takes years to recover from when the relationship ends. Some people never recover. Some people plunge, head on, into another relationship or marriage before they have recovered.
To many people, it's easier to quash the empty feeling with another relationship than it is to do the work of healing.
Having gone through it, I had to make a colossal effort to recover. I wanted the divorce, I paid for it financially, yes, he refused to pay the $$$, so I paid, as well as many other ways. I divorced to seek happiness in my life, so it goes.
An important lesson I learned was to never attach my happiness to another person, ever again. Equally important, I learned to attach my happiness to goals that I set for myself.
Be they large, small or somewhere in between, the satisfaction derived from accomplishing a goal is much more rewarding.
I'm in control. Whether I reach my goal is all up to me.
Something else?
The satisfaction, the delicious happiness is all mine.
If the goal is not reached, that is also mine & mine alone.
When the dust of the divorce settled, many people really expected, some even hoped, I would find someone, get married again.
For a time, I really thought that would happen, too. Making the mistake of attachment, disappointment, painful severing, repeat, repeat, repeat.
One facet of my personality is that if I desire someone or something, usually it appeals to me for a finite amount of time. Then?
When it's clear that it's not going to happen, I lose interest, move on. Some objects are ones I pursue longer, some shorter.
The process I went through, allowing myself to adjust to being alone, was deeply painful. After so many disappointments, the realization was that I was doing it to myself.
Shifting focus to gathering lucre, creative pursuits, traveling. Also volunteering, it was so much more fulfilling, ultimately more rewarding than attaching to so many cheeky feckers.
In present day, my attachments are around goals that I set for myself. Very scant room for emotional pain, a very wide field for gratification (delayed, of course) as a precursor to bliss.
Having witnessed the pain of so many people who are single, wish they were coupled up, I have tried to explain it to them.
Nope
They have to fight the urge to merge, on their own. When a person desperately clings to the idea that it will take another person to bring them back to a happy balance, they will be disappointed. Over and over again until they either get their aha moment or are so beaten down they settle for less than they need just to have someone.
Single people in a couples world also have to have courage to swim against the current of a world designed around couples, often couples with 1 or more children.
Do I still love men?
Absolutely.
Do I ever want one?
Sometimes, yet, it's nice to have my home exactly as I like it.
Attaching my happiness to a dream goal which I'm working toward is more healthy, will give me the ultimate fulfillment.
Stay tuned!
Wednesday, April 22, 2020
Press My Button, Please
Right after my only son was born, I began having dreams of a very different sort. Different from those I had ever had before.
Possibly, it was due to the excess testosterone from carrying a boy vs a baby girl. He was my 3 of 4, my only son, so, this is why I hypothesize it could have been the excess testosterone.
With all of the forced changes due to the recent events, it's somewhat more of a challenge to remain positive.
PEEPS!
Most people know me as being more positive than most. Trying to keep a smile on my face at all times requires a more concerted effort. Still, I keep pressing on, doing all that is possible to remain in a positive mindset.
With that prefacing my revelation, I had one of "those" dreams last night. Prior to retiring to my bedroom, I watched a Prince concert on the smart TV. OMGoodness. He was a bad boy in a good way!!!
Do ya think it may have contributed or all out caused?!
Contents of this ultimately good dream seems to have a reset button on how I'm feeling. Attitude of fresh start, happiness, a genuine uncertified RESET BUTTON!
Happy to have this button pressed anytime! 😜
If this feeling could be bottled & sold it would be so lucretive. Lucretive, that is, until the powers that be found a way to make it illegal.
Just to be clear, I never touch illegal substances plus very few legal ones. This reset feeling came to me very naturally.
Having had this happen occasionally, I wish there was a way to cause it to happen, to choose, to predict.
The former is more common than the latter.
Yesterday, my muscles were particularly sore from doing a lot of organizing, cleaning etc. Bending, stretching, reaching, walking from one end of the house to the other. A great remedy for this is to take a soak in the tub with water as hot as can be tolerated, adding a 2 cup measure of Sea Salt. The closest I can presently get to ocean water.
I really am a mermaid. 💙💚
The soak in Sea Salt completely relaxed me, put me into a state of bliss.
Could this be an instigator of "those" dreams?
Maybe
From whence the dreams came is unknown.
Today, I will roll with the inspiration, get schtuff done!
Les Fleurs
Tulips are common
Roses overdone
Both will bloom
In the warm sun
Lilacs fade too soon
Dandelions are a weed
Poinsettias only bloom once
Orchids have too much need
The flowers I create, myself
Satisfy more than these flowers
To freeze them in time
In the stitching hours
Sunday, April 19, 2020
Money vs Noney
Some of the fortunate few are born to parents who have figured out how to master their money. Give them $10. these mastering geniuses will use it to gain more. $100 or $1,000 then keep adding to it.
Many financial experts (Dave Ramsey, Robert Kiyosaki, Suze Orman) will tell you of examples they have personally seen. People who win millions in a lottery, go broke within as little as a year or sometimes less.
Why?
They lacked money management skills.
Money management is quite often not taught by parents, definitely not taught in school K - 12.
Right here, right now, I can tell you, I was never taught how to manage money by my parents. Many people manage their money by the principle, spend it if you have it!
See how that works for you. 😎
In truth? It's sad for those people who are living check to check. Barely getting by, keeping yourself from getting ahead.
Yep
People keep themselves from getting ahead. Then there are the ones who have learned, like the fictitious Rumplestillskin, these financial geniuses seem to be able to spin straw into gold.
Lucre, Lucre, Lucre.
The flip side of this is people who love money so much, they will lie, cheat, steal, step on anyone to get more money. Thinking they got ahead by ignoring ethics, values, morals. They may have gained money, at a huge cost. They have sold themselves down the river. Moral bankruptcy is very ruinous to the soul.
There is everything right with being wealthy. Ask any wealthy person as well as those who struggle, whom have nothing, they will agree.
The means by which as well as the attitude makes the difference.
If someone wishes to get religious about it, the misquoted passage in the Good Book states that it's THE LOVE of money that is evil.
Having a lot of money is what gives many people who have it, they have more freedom to choose.
It's "The Golden Rule", right?
The one who has the most gold gets to make the rules.
JUST KIDDING!
Although, I have seen many people use it this way.
~ People who "skim off" a bit of that which they are entrusted with, believing it's a good way to get ahead. A shot to their feet.
~ Men who shaft their ex wives, mothers of their children, letting her live in dire poverty because they withheld what they promised to do, what they should be doing. They love their money more than they could ever love the mother of their children. Their guilt eventually catches up to their thinking that their ex spouse didn't know of the evil they did to her. She knows, yep, she knows.
~ Business owners who treat their employees badly, just because they can. They have crosses hanging all over their walls in their business offices & loobies, their homes, even themselves. While they treat their employees badly. They are devoid of the Christian ethics, morals that they claim to embrace.
~ Even tele evangelists who have figuratively been caught with their pants down however, not with their wives. They praised God to get the money to flow in while they let something else flow out.
~ Gold diggers, male & female. All to support their desired lifestyle or start up a business. Yep. I have known, both publicly as well as privately, men and women who played others as well as married maybe 10% for love with the other 90% because of the resources & money to gain.
Yes, I have experienced some of this.
I will leave it to your imagination as to which.
Dolly downer - wah-wah-waaaah
Although I have become better at money management, there is still so much I can learn. So much improvement to be made.
As a believer in L.O.A. aka Law of Attraction (that's in the Good Book, too! Proverbs 23:7) Every action as well as its outcome begins in the mind of the person involved.
When a person is drowning in a boiling pot of poverty, they have a mindset of "lack", "never have enough."
Those same people are the ones who will win a lottery, end up broke within a year or two.
Why?
No matter how much they have, they kept the mindset of poverty. It seems like being ungrateful for whatever blessing came to them. An innocent squandering while employing an attitude of lack.
Can you say, self fulfilling prophecy?
There ya go, skippy.
Here's the light at the end of the tunnel, it's beautiful!
When a person mindfully, purposely use their resources, they will have enough. Even an abundance.
In 2017, I had "something happen". With that "something', I took a friend on a fun vacation, bought & gave gifts to my loved ones.
PEEPS!
I could have easily frittered it away. After the vacation, I came back, back to reality. I did some intelligent research, made some financially conscious decisions.
I tied the bulk of it up in investments so that I couldn't touch it, then, I put myself on a budget. Thank you Dave Ramsey!!!!
The most important change I made was my mindset.
After living in survival mode for over a decade, sometimes living with only 1 egg per day to eat. I would cut that boiled egg into 4 pieces, eating a little at a time throughout the day to keep my grumbling stomach from hurting, just barely. Sometimes, I even had oatmeal or popcorn. I kept a smile on my face, most people didn't know.
Many people didn't want to know. Some simply didn't care.
There were people from church who helped me here and there. One friend, particularly, was a godsend to me.
Can you say, "Fun vacation!" ? Payback is sometimes good.
Being a very independent, self sufficient person, I worked to keep whatever my troubles were, to myself.
Another friend who was the only one who stuck by me when everyone except her, abandoned me for the first 3 years, post divorce, she was there for me!
So, I did have some compassionate help along the way.
Being independent, I rarely ask for help, loathe needing it.
When my "something" happened? I vowed to show gratitude for the blessing by replacing the attitude of poverty with an attitude of, I have enough.
Replacing the mindset of poverty with an attitude abundance. Sticking to the budget I set up for myself, while still letting my "something" contribute to a feeling of having enough.
In from survival mode, on a path of happiness & gratitude.
In truth, I blew my budget a few times, adjusting to the new circumstances.
The important part is that I learned.
You might ask what I learned. This blog entry is long enough. Probably because it's something I am passionate about.
Here are just 4 things that I do which helps save resources.
1. I rarely buy water for myself. I may buy it for others occasionally out of kindness & compassion. I keep a reusable water bottle with me. Offering to give someone a sip out of my water bottle is tacky, can be dangerous. Although, if it was someone I know very well & trust, I have done it when there was no other alternative.
2. Eat at home 90% of the time. It's healthier, still, I treat myself from time to time if I'm out with a friend or friends.
3. When I buy food, I buy the items that will expire soon with full intent as to when I will use them. I love my fresh veggies & fruit. Having always told my kiddos that if you are careful with what you have, you will most often have enough. Wasting food is like throwing money into the trash.
4. Carefully watch for those opportunities when you can double save on items you need & can use. Such as buy one get one, the clearance section. The key is, only buy it if you truly need & will use it. A lower price on an impulse buy just because it's a lower price is a waste of resources.
So, there ya go. Now that I have written a book, lol.
I wish you a clear conscience & an abundant life!
Saturday, April 18, 2020
When Someone Tells You Who They Are ~ Believe Them.
I have been listening to psychology studies. You Tube vids, podcasts, even read a few articles from Psychology Today.
Self educating is much better than self face stuffing. There are many good psychology videos, pod casts, articles out there about the fascinating study of the human mind. One series, in particular, talks about self esteem with all of its' complexity.
We have all done it at one time or another. Put ourselves down whether serious or joking, or is it joking?
There are a few telling factors. After listening to a renowned expert in psychology, Dr. Ramani Durvasala, she clears a few things up.
The telling factor is how often a person does this, puts themselves down.
There is:
Self deprecating: A person putting themselves down in an attempt at humor while it's glaringly untrue. Such as someone renowned for being attractive, physically, stating they are in the "ugly" club.
Self defense: Some people will put themselves down as a way to guard against the envy, the jealousy of other people. Society often gives the message that they should shun compliments.
Low Self Esteem: A person may not like themselves or even hate themselves. By putting themselves down, it makes them less of a target for the hyper-criticism they have endured.
Attention Seeking: Some people feel that by putting themselves down it may draw out sympathy for them. It attracts attention from others telling them what a good or smart or funny person they are. Whatever positive reinforcement they get. They are getting the attention they seek.
Again, many people may put themselves down, yet, it's the frequency that someone does this that shows whether they mean it truly in jest or seeking attention. Seeking validation even if it's superficial, it softens self loathing if only temporarily.
Until the next time they need to be validated..........again.
Social media is a platform which is a smorgasbord of validation for attention seekers. The person may do a full face of makeup, dress provacatively or in something new, something that highlights attractiveness, then take multiple photos. Filters with dog faces, bunnies, cats, etc garner even more attention.
Then there are those who dislike their looks. They may have issues with skin or age or eye color. There is a filter for that. In an attempt to make believe they look much better than they actually do. The validating remarks telling a girl how pretty she is, telling a guy how buff he is (even when it's not his body) are accurate indications of low self esteem.
Right here, right now, you, who are reading this. You are of great worth as a fellow human being. Who you are & what you are, is enough. The more you stop putting yourself down, fishing for validation, the more you learn to love yourself, you will begin to believe you are enough.
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