When Someone Tells You Who They Are ~ Believe Them.

I have been listening to psychology studies. You Tube vids, podcasts, even read a few articles from Psychology Today. 

Self educating is much better than self face stuffing. There are many good psychology videos, pod casts, articles out there about the fascinating study of the human mind. One series, in particular, talks about self esteem with all of its' complexity.
We have all done it at one time or another. Put ourselves down whether serious or joking, or is it joking?

There are a few telling factors. After listening to a renowned expert in psychology, Dr. Ramani Durvasala, she clears a few things up. 

The telling factor is how often a person does this, puts themselves down.

There is:

Self deprecating: A person putting themselves down in an attempt at humor while it's glaringly untrue. Such as someone renowned for being attractive, physically, stating they are in the "ugly" club.

Self defense: Some people will put themselves down as a way to guard against the envy, the jealousy of other people. Society often gives the message that they should shun compliments.

Low Self Esteem: A person may not like themselves or even hate themselves. By putting themselves down, it makes them less of a target for the hyper-criticism they have endured.

Attention Seeking: Some people feel that by putting themselves down it may draw out sympathy for them. It attracts attention from others telling them what a good or smart or funny person they are. Whatever positive reinforcement they get. They are getting the attention they seek.

Again, many people may put themselves down, yet, it's the frequency that someone does this that shows whether they mean it truly in jest or seeking attention. Seeking validation even if it's superficial, it softens self loathing if only temporarily. 
Until the next time they need to be validated..........again.

Social media is a platform which is a smorgasbord of validation for attention seekers. The person may do a full face of makeup, dress provacatively or in something new, something that highlights attractiveness, then take multiple photos. Filters with dog faces, bunnies, cats, etc garner even more attention.

Then there are those who dislike their looks. They may have issues with skin or age or eye color. There is a filter for that. In an attempt to make believe they look much better than they actually do. The validating remarks telling a girl how pretty she is, telling a guy how buff he is (even when it's not his body) are accurate indications of low self esteem.

Right here, right now, you, who are reading this. You are of great worth as a fellow human being. Who you are & what you are, is enough. The more you stop putting yourself down, fishing for validation, the more you learn to love yourself, you will begin to believe you are enough.