Ask yourself, whom do you love?
Ask yourself, who loves you?
Often, they are the same. Sometimes, they are not.
I have experienced both, like so many people, it's fairly common. The tricky part is when you like someone so much, it's easy to convince yourself that they like you, too, in the same amount.
Yet, another trickiness to add to the tricky is when the other person likes you, yet, in a different way, far less or far more. The imbalance can produce pain.
Tricky
Tricky
Tricky
What could be worse?
Those sheisters become aware of your "like". A sinister agenda develops as the sheister devises a way to extract whatever it is that could fill their purposes. Many of these individuals have done it before, very practiced at using another person to gain whatever it is that will put the feather in their cap.
It could be anything.
Attention
Money
Sex
Material goods
Knowledge
Social status
Anything, really, which is more about them than it is about a balance in the interaction betwixt 2 or more people.
That is the telling point. The lack of balance where one person receives or even demands, with very little to give back of themselves.
Also if they won't.
There is a philosopher who I have listened to, let's just say, a lot over the past several years. He has a revealing theory on this.
It is this:
There are 3 kinds of people in your life.
1.Those who hurt you
2. Those who help you
3. Those who leave you alone
Here is a bit more explanation.
1. Those who hurt you want you to stay the same, always. If you begin to change or grow, it makes them uncomfortable. Their concern is for themselves, their comfort. They don't want you to grow emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, it threatens their paradigm. However, like a beautiful green plant, if you are not growing you will become stagnant, you may even die. Even if it's only emotionally or spiritually. A little at a time, for their comfort.
2. Those who help you really want to see you succeed. Glorying in your accomplishments even when it has nothing to do with them. Content to go with you or even sit on the sidelines to watch you shine. When you need help, they endeavor their best to be there. Your happiness is important to the ones who help you.
3. Those who leave you alone will see your suffering as a nuisance, they wish to go on with their day without you bothering them or asking anything of them. Putting in the very minimum effort so that they still feel like a good person while mostly ignoring you. These are the people who say, "I'll pray for you". Usually, they don't pray for you, they will conveniently forget. Mostly, it's something people will say so that they feel like they are a good person. Also, there is no way for you to know if they did pray for you or if they didn't. Bare minimal effort. They would rather shoot a text to you than have a conversation. Their time is more valuable to them than your wellbeing.
Which of these would you believe to be beneficial to both people involved in an interaction of any nature?
Of course, the second one is the ultimate ideal.
I have devised a theory, yep, sometimes I can devise. 🤡
I call it The Puppy Principle.
(Oh, my, aren't I clever)
There are 4 people sitting on the floor in a square, approximately 6 feet apart, COVID19 style. Ha Ha!
There is an adorable puppy in the center of the square.
1. The puppy goes to the first person all happy, wiggly, tail wagging! After all, who could resist an adorable puppy? So sweet, soft, warm, believing that the world loves them. The first person looks at the puppy with disgust, only thinking of dirt, saliva, hair.
Puppies can't read minds, have not yet learned to read people.
The person pushes the puppy away, without a word nor a glance, only wanting it to leave them alone.
2. The puppy goes to the second person, still hopeful, still believeing that all of the world loves them. The person is less fond of animals than most, so, he tells the puppy,
"I'm sorry, I'm too busy right now. Go to someone else."
3. The puppy goes to the third person, still hopeful, yet, a bit less trusting. The person looks at the puppy, thinking of a way to monetize it, thinking of how they could use the puppy to get gain.
Also, the person really is a dog lover, yet, sees the puppy as more of a means to an end. To either sell the puppy or use it to make more puppies, all to benefit the person.
The puppy enjoys the pats on the head, the person seems to be friendly enough, yet something seems out of place.
Our puppy wants the attention, yet senses that this person has an agenda. As much as the puppy wants to stay, to bask in the attention, to feel loved, something says it's better to walk away.
4. The puppy goes to the 4th person, a bit slower, a bit cautious, yet, his tail is still wagging a little. The person looks up, a little wary, as they have encountered dogs before who were just as friendly, then bit them, maybe had a wee on their shoes. Puppy walks slowly, the person, reaching out, at first, just pats the puppy's head. Puppy's tail wags a bit more. Person 4 sees that puppy seems safe to pet, so, continues to pet the puppy. Puppy starts to realize that this person seems to be safe, seems to like puppies, so, puppy sits next to the person, leaning slightly against the person's side. It's important to go slow, after the previous encounters.
The person responds, so it goes. Over time, the puppy and person learn to trust each other, slowly, with effort on both sides. Mutual benefit. Only 1 in 20 interactions are fun, safe, happy. For a puppy or for a person in todays climate of selfishness.
*********************************************************************
Whom would you believe is the best person for puppy to trust?
Exactly.
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