Matthew 6, 14 -15

Most likely, you will see this happen, hear of it or even participate in it, yourself.
Holding a grudge.
Holding onto hurt feelings, holding back forgiveness.
Some one may have said something or done something you didn't like or it could be much worse.

What you do afterward can define your character.

This excludes the practice of ejecting someone from your life because the person is toxic to you, wants to be in your life while continuing to be verbally as well as physically abusive to you. The person could be sexually abusive toward you or you know of them being like this with other people, even little children.
That's so wrong, so unacceptable.

When they don't get caught or called out, they will continue.

The toxic or abusive person will sometimes just ignore you, give you the silent treatment for hours, days, weeks or even months. Then?
When it's convenient for them, they come back like they saw you just a minute ago. Expecting you to be happy to see them.

Whatever you allow will continue.

Only lay down when you enjoy being walked on, stomped on, then discarded when their silent treatment resumes.

Again, whatever you allow, will continue.


Many people will allow themselves to be offended, it is a choice, instead of sitting down, having a conversation they will see that person less or even disappear all together. Sadly, this practice is so common, there is even a term for it.
Ghosting.
Also, semi-ghosting.

Often, I will hear the pain in someone's voice in the aftermath of the confusion as to what they did or might have done or what the other person perceived they did. Not knowing is the worst.

Something odd. People who voice this pain to me, turn around, then, do the same thing to someone else. Causing the same pain.

What?

Yupp, ha ha, they do. 

Somehow, I have always known this (see meme above) so that I will try my hardest to sit down & have a conversation with someone when it's possible. More often, the other person cares more about their pride, avoids confrontation at any cost. The cost? 

Human pain, human suffering. A very high cost. 

They will ghost or semi ghost the other person, in the place of sitting down for a conversation.

Just like the beat goes on, the pain goes on. 

On and on, on and on, on and on!

These 2 "Parties" could be casual friends, close friends, spouses, lovers, relatives, co-workers, neighbors, fellow church members.

They could be any combo, really.

The one aspect in common is being prideful, leaving the other person with no closure, lots of questions, a dull ache in their heart.

For all of that which I just wrote, whether it's right or wrong. If someone who has hurt me wants that truth filled conversation of knowing they hurt me, then feeling penitent. Also, if I hurt them, leaving them with the ache caused by holding a grudge, I will hear them out. I will sit down to have a truthful conversation like all Christians should, yet, rarely do. 

I will put my big girl knickers on, then sit down to be an adult, to have that conversation.

It takes so little, maybe lasts a few minutes, while the effects last a lifetime. I don't know who needed to read this, today.....