The sadness of the internet is that many people use it to lie to others, cheat on their S.O.'s, hurl insults at others with no consequences, most of the time.
The truth is that many people admit to using the internet for one, a few of these acts or, gosh, all of these!
Some people do this yet will never admit.
There was a time period in my life when I was quite sad, angry, confused.
After ending a soured marriage which I dearly paid for.
I paid for all divorce costs, financially.
Also, I paid for it spiritually, emotionally, psychologically.
The single & dating world had changed in a thousand ways while I was busy keeping a hot bed for a male who didn't appreciate it. The days which melted into weeks, then months, then years & decades of sweet babies, laundry, home cooked meals, hand made gifts, Sunday dinners around a beautifully set table.
When it was done & dusted, I got out there into the dating world and PEEPS!
It was not heartbreak city, it was a whole heartbreak world.
These precarious interactions with the result being the same. My heart was bruised, battered, sliced, diced until I began to turn into a very unhappy version of myself.
Being angry, hurting deeply, becoming bitter, I began to act & react in ways that are very far from who I am.
Yeah, I was in deep pain which caused me to troll the internet, saying some things that were very mean. It was an expression of all the mean, wrong, unkindness's that had been heaped upon me.
I trolled.
I engaged in useless barbs with soul-less people who were quite possibly in as much pain or maybe more than me.
In time, taking a step (or 10) back, I realized that this was a waste of my time.
Even more?
It was a waste of my heart.
A waste of time.
In time, the futility of trading barbs with people, hiding behind the net, whom I did not truly know, who had no idea of myself, it became apparent. This was a waste.
Even further?
Hatred, bitterness, anger, mean-ness are all so toxic to the one eschewing them as well as the fragrance of it that clings slightly to the recipient.
It's a shame, a waste, a by-product of emotional pain.
No Bueno!
At a point, several years, earlier, I saw, even felt, a shift inside me.
It was then, that I began to eschew kindness, well wishes, sincerely, for the cursing, insults, mean spirited remarks.
From time to time I will throw a little shade.
Much less than I used to, yet, I know how to be assertive online, in person, yeah.
From the deceit, lies, emotional pain they may be feeling, these hurt ones are now acting as trolls, spewing their hatred anonymously onto people they know very little to nothing about.
My troll time is O-V-E-R over.
The job passes on to someone else.
It's some other beings time to find their way to the light.
It's much better to communicate with others in a kind way, a way that helps, a way that will put a little sunshine on their heart.
Maybe a lil trollish occasionally, yet very rarely.
Have to let the wild out a little sometimes.
Peace.
No comments:
Post a Comment