For several years I have been celebrating my birthday in a unique way.
Of course, it's a reoccurrence of the day I was born. July 14. It can be more about others, about giving back, less about me me me. There are 2 things I do, most years, around the anniversary of my birth.
Long before the social media "give back", I was doing it.
It's quite simple, it feels good to give back.
1. Choosing one person who has made a positive difference in my life, I send a handwritten note to them along with a personalized gift. This year, a person who was very kind to me when I was a child, has come back into my life. I sent a Hawai'ian plumeria lei to her along with a letter of gratitude for how her kindness affected my life. I'm unsure if she reads my blog or not. The lei has already arrived & she loves it. Absence of a spoiler.
2. My favorite needlework designer is Nora Corbett who has three different design lines. Mirabilia, Little Stitches, Designs by Nora. Her designs are so exquisite, often whimsical, elegant. The designs are loved by so many stitchers all over the world. Many of her designs are out of print & highly sought after. Let's just say I have been a stitcher for 90% of my life. I have most of Nora Corbett's designs from all three lines. In the month of my birthday, I hold a drawing to give away an unused pattern. I KNOW they sell for hundreds of dollars, I'm aware.
EDIT: I had planned to hold the drawing for a different pattern, one that is rare, out of print. I decided on a different one at the last minute. I live by listening to promptings, I was prompted at the last minute to offer this one. My finished piece is at the framers.
The pattern I'm gifting to someone else: Botanical Garden designed by Nora Corbett of Mirabilia Designs.
There are some things in life that are more important than money,
Giving back during the month of my birthdate is my way of spreading some happiness, even if in a small way. Truly, I feel that it's my personal mission for my life, to help others.
My mission includes spreading happiness when I can. Showing gratitude for the wondrous life I have & all that it entails. There is so much selfishness, fear, hate, sadness in the world. By taking this opportunity to spread some happiness, I hope to counter it, make the world somewhat better in my small way.
With all the ups & downs, hills & valleys as most people have in their lives, a fair amount has been peppered throughout my own life experience.
There will remain an absence of a list. Leaving some mystery is good.
All in all, it's been a good life so far, still so much more to do, to see, so I keep going. Keep going to the gym, it's been a struggle to get back into regular, daily workouts. Keep doing the work I love for the rest of my life, I feel so fortunate to have this career that surpasses all I could have ever wanted. Doing what I love, it feels less like work, more like playing.
One of the natural talents I have is with languages. Currently I'm certified & fluent in five languages. Recently I taught myself to read a 6th language. I can converse in it, though not as fluently as the other five languages. Soon, I will.
For 5 years, a woman, who befriended me, celebrated my birthday. She helped me so much to get over the birthday funk that I used to fall into starting around the first week in July. Although she is no longer part of my life, I will always be so deeply grateful to her for what she did for me.
She was there.
There is so much more that I am grateful to her, for.
People come into our lives for a reason......well, you know the rest!
A few years ago, I was in contact with a man who I very briefly lived close to. He had such an effect on me. The effect he had on me lingered long after he had left Hawai'i, I went to counseling. The counselor suggested to do something symbolic. In place of feeling the emptiness, sit one day & write his name over & over. I decided to have his initials engraved on a heart shaped locket. It worked a little to keep him out of my mind. When I would fall asleep, I dreamed about him. So ridiculous.
The feeling stayed with me. I spent 10 years writing in a notebook. A counselor suggested it to me. To keep the notebook with me & write everything I felt, all of my thoughts. That would have been good except when a friend who saw me constantly writing pressed me to let them see what I was writing. The friend stressed to me how good it was & that I should publish it. I contacted an editor who also encouraged me to publish.
I had it edited, formatted into a manuscript, professionally printed, a professional graphic artist designed a cover proposal.
I must have sent out twenty or so copies of the manuscript to publishing houses. One of the publishers responded! I never saw that happening. The publisher was a bit concerned, though. He told me that though I had used pseudonyms that some of the events were so distinct that he would feel better if I contacted the main person to release the publishing house & me from liability.
Great
I started looking around on the internet, it was very shocking to me that I found him. Rather, he found me.
He heard that I was looking for him, he contacted me one day. We communicated online first, then, by phone as he requested.
He was so patient, so generous with his time. I was married, he was married. I didn't want to involve in an affair with him.
All I wanted was to know who he was, who he had become.
He was so playful, so intelligent, educated & accomplished.
There is more to it. It's private.
As the time to be in contact with him was winding down, there was one last gesture I needed to make to give myself closure. I had a heart shaped antique gold locket that I'd had since 4th grade. During the time that I lived in Hawai'i, I had his initials engraved on the back of the locket. Every day I wore that antique gold locket on a gold chain, around my neck. I would hold it, rubbing my thumb over the engraved initials. They had faded, so, I had the locket re-engraved before sending it to him along with a brief note expressing gratitude to him. The only way for me to have closure was to get it, for myself. People who knew me, knew I always wore the gold heart locket, asked me why I wasn't wearing it. I just smiled.
It was private, keeping it that way was best.
Now, anyone who reads this will know.
Did FB start the giveback feature to copy me? I doubt it. Giving back is simply a product of a grateful heart, an expression of thanks to go beyond a smile, pat on the back.
It takes planning, effort, thought, heartfelt expression one to another.
Every day, I make the effort to be grateful, to express gratitude, then, go out into the world to help others as a result. Many people say the oh so cliche' phrase, "I'll pray for you." Words can be flowery, flattering, sugar sweet.
Actions are the real substance. The flowers in the garden of life where unkind actions can be the weeds that choke out the beauty, the essence of delight, that is a fresh blossom.
A deep desire in life is for me, is to do good in the world.
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