Gone to Canada

Hello & happy Canada Day!

This is more of a celebration, less of a pity party for one. It's good for people to have enriching experiences. Traveling, as I have done more than the lions share & still have more to do. It can enrich a person's perspective of the world, can facilitate understanding of other peoples plus other cultures. Truly, I'm happy for my daughter, as she has moved to Canada, with her little family, to have this wonderful experience.

A loving, involved, tapped in mother, raises her children to become happy, successful adults. She teaches them life skills to be able to get out in the world to roll with whatever life hands them. I think that's what I did, I hope so. In large families, there may be one or even two, sometimes more offspring, who become very successful adults. 

Proudly, I will say that all 4 of mine, are doing quite well. 

How does one measure success in others, particularly their children?

As only one person, I can tell you how I measure it. All 4 of my elderly babies' aka adults, are educated, intelligent, happy, kindhearted, healthy, 3 are gainfully employed. Being physically healthy & very attractive helps, somewhat. Someone who saw one of my daughters for the first time was struck by her beauty. He referred to her, in her presence, as a "beautiful Hawai'ian Princess".

Her reply?

"Yeah, well, my mamas the Queen, so ya better watch your step."

Did I mention that all 4 have a wickedly hilarious sense of humor!

They got their looks from their father; they got their smarts from me!

One is devoting herself to the loving care of her own children. She has a 24/7 365 days per year job!!! Being a SAHM is a tough, often thankless job which requires endless hours & abilities.

It's a way of doing things.

There is little to no guarantee that your work, sacrifices, sleepless nights & many hours spent on the knees in prayer will be remembered. Sometimes it even goes unappreciated or doesn't even give a commensurate return of the joy that parents often speak of. 

Only one of my children stays in regular contact with me, I only have the mailing address for one of them. The one who I'm in regular contact with has just moved within the last 2 weeks, so, she gets a free pass. 💛

I made a promise to her when her little one was in utero, that I would visit her at least once per year around the time of her child's birthday. As long as she can welcome me, I will visit. Life puts all people through various changes, situations, life stages, so, I truly understand. For 2 years, I have made the nearly 2,000-mile one way drive to visit. Then, a week or so later, made the same drive back to the place I call "home" for now. Before that, I was there for her beautiful wedding & 2 receptions in different states. Then, a year later, I was there when she graduated from college with a BA in Mechanical Engineering.

She worked so hard to graduate with no student loan debt. That is a tremendous fete in itself.

Am I delightfully proud of her?

Hellz to the yeah!

An adult can only have much contact with minor children, when said adult has a good relationship with the parents of the minor child or children. 

My youngest daughter has included me at every life event. At her first wedding reception, she asked me to walk up to where she & her prince charming stood. She verbally honored me, with words of gratitude to thank me for, well, everything I had done as her mother. 

It was such a kind gesture, my heart was beating so hard, then the happy tears flowed, for us plus a few of the guests.

As busy as she was, also currently is, she made time for me. I am so happy to be included in all of hers & her family milestones.

This is to say that I give priority to those who give priority to me.

I love all four of my adult children. In a perfect situation, I would have as close or almost as close of a relationship with all four of them, their spouses & minor children. I have one, so I will cherish her, give my love, my time to her.

So that he may advance in his profession, her husband recently achieved his PhD in Mechanical Engineering. No student loan debt, or at least very minimal.

He can start his career, moved their little family to Canada.

Again, I can say that I'm very happy for them as they have these life enriching experiences.

For me?

It feels like someone opened me up took 3.5 scoops out of my heart.

Yes, that's right, their second little addition will be arriving later in 2023. 

Ils me manquent tellement deja.

It's less of a heavy depressing sadness, more of a soft mantle of enui. Taking less pleasure in that which usually gives me immense buoyancy. 

It's a sort of sadness as less than one that moves me to tears, still a bit heavy on my heart. Tears would be a relief. It's rare that I watch a movie I have already seen that is from more than a year ago. I watched the beginning of the Star Trek Movie from 2009. The scene starting at 07:25 makes me cry, every time. Last night before going to sleep, I watched it, the tears were a small relief.

There are things I look forward to. Going to Mackinac Island with my sister in Autumn. The beautifully custom framed needlework piece which will be back from the framers, soon. Thoughts of taking a day trip within 200 miles of my home or a long weekend to Las Vegas, NV, have occurred to me. I have already taken 10 of my 30 allotted days this year. Star Trek: Strange New Worlds S2 has commenced with a new episode every Thursday. That's a very real source of happiness for me.

A guy friend who loves Star Trek as much as I do, has gifted me with a Horga'an. He gets his jamaharon elsewhere. He and I are platonic friends.

My birthday is soon approaching on July 14, I want to take that day off to do something fun.

That leaves me with 19 days of vacation time off. It's my hope that I can have enough vacation days to reconnect with friends & family in Ohio & Michigan. Yes, I'm driving! Not alone, I keep my buddy, Taser, charged up, ready, if I need some assistance.

When a condition of enui besets me, starting a new needlework project lifts my mood. It delivers the giddy sensation of falling in love, for me. I've fallen in love so many times. Ha ha!

It's far better to finish projects already started. Having finished 7 projects, so far, this year, there are many more to finish. This one was particularly pretty! Just a little bit more to finish.

How many more?

It'll remain as my dirty little secret, though, I confess the number is far from being little or even dirty. There is more than 69 in total. Maybe I could start just one little project!

It will take a bit of time. My daughter usually phones me every Sunday or on my birthday, on many holidays, occasionally just because. She was pressed for time last Sunday, so we did speak for an hour. Our conversations have lasted as long as three hours at times. I'm deeply grateful to her husband for being so kind as to be understanding about hers & my tight bond.

I have a very good life, zero debt, the career of my dreams, a decent house to live in, a decent car to drive. my health is excellent. Having more money plus more freedom than I have ever had in my life is also quite nice.

Having a career I love, I can keep working until the day I die.

As long as I continue to guard my great health, I can keep working. The women in my family, the ones who take care of themselves, live in excellent health past their 80s. A few even lived with total independence past their 90s.

Working a lot, sleeping a lot, I have a very good life. 

Also, I have a rather large smart TV & Star Trek!