Although I feel very rhymey-timey today, I will do my best to refrain. The mind of a polyglot, the soul of a child, a poet. It can be a lot of fun for me while irritating the #2 out of many people.
Some people sing in public or or as a part of a conversation with another person. That one irritates the #2 outta me! It's reached the fight or flight level with me if I speak up, most often, it's flight.
I'm more of a lady hawk, less of a prize fighter.
For me, I'm an empath, a sensitive soul, a very intuitive one who has had to work against my free spirit, often stubborn nature to listen to my gut instinct. In past times, often I ignored it much to my detriment. In present day? I would say that I listen to it. Heeding, then following it nearly 100% of the time.
People might wonder (didja just wonder?) what the end goal or eternal goal or even the goal whilst living 6' above ground, is exactly. A one word, one syllable answer.
Bliss.
When the promptings or warnings to do something or refrain from it are actualized, life is good! It's mega important to be listening as when one listens consistently, it becomes easier to sense. The promptings or warnings are a still, small voice. On rare occasions it will be somewhat louder, usually, it's calm, filled with love.
This is NOT to be confused with mental illness. Hollyweird has painted distorted versions of human spirituality. This has been done in such a way that most people have no clue what true spirituality is. Hollyweird has diluted spirituality in such a way that it became too difficult, too convoluted to understand.
Evil by design.
Spirituality is often confused with religion. Religion is a construct created by people to control the population while bringing in money for those who have learned how to cash in on God.
Spirituality is something that most people are born with. It's dependent on their life experiences as to whether it's recognized or goes unrecognized.
One might ask, "What does it take to get to bliss? What does it feel like to be living in a state of bliss?"
You may ask, I will tell you my experience with the caveat that it is only my experience, it may be different for others.
These promptings & gut feelings are usually simple, day to day life, little decisions. The decisions are sprinkled throughout my days, sometimes nights, that lead (when heeded) to a continued state of happiness, serenity, security even safety. Safety in body - sometimes.
The most valuable safety is one that keeps the mind calm, aware, little flashes of excitement.
Safety in the soul or spirit. In my experience, one of the most common soul harming elements is lies or lying. The harm to the soul affects the one being lied to almost as much as it does the liar.
Again, just little me sharing my own personal experience.
There have been three different long term life situations in which I had to lie to prevent a beating, preserve my career, counter the lies of another person.
When I ended a long term relationship, I became free to break myself of that terrible habit, it was a choice. It was also much more difficult than it would seem. Still, remnants of the habit still present a challenge occasionally. Hopefully someday, it will be moot.
Where does bliss factor into this.
As I live my life, the more often I am truthful & honest, the higher state of bliss I feel. It's far from perfect, still, you know, pizza & sex.
One observation that occurred to me several years ago was that many people want to feel happiness. Here's the main observation, when one person encounters another person who is obviously, genuinely happy, it pulls said individual in.
"Well, dang! I want some of that, too! Break me off a piece!"
If said person is lacking in peace, in happiness, in any aspect of their life, when the one with bliss lets the one without, "in", the lacking one will usually choose one of two options.
(It TRULY is a choice!)
1. Learn how to gain bliss for themselves by following the example.
2. Proceed to suck the joy out of the happy one.
Sadly, it is usually #2, it stinks just as badly.
From these life lessons which I suffered a great deal of pain to learn, it's an infinite gratitude I feel that I was given a chance to pick myself up, survive suicide attempts, become wiser, stronger.
Huli - Huli
It was a gigantic effort of work to get back to bliss, every time. It was my actions that got me "throwed off" it was my pain, work, struggle to get myself back in alignment. My own personal responsibility. My last four experiences with a counselor were detrimental to my mental health. Therefore, I say F that S to counseling.
When I ended the long term relationship, my choice, for my happiness, I was quite sure that I would eventually marry someone else, again. With the knowledge & wisdom I had gained, I would get it right.
With every disappointment, every heartbreak, every cheating deceiver that I decided to care about, then, had to end it. I would start from the beginning, rebuilding my bliss all over again. I did it, it was my choice, my responsibility.
The perp would do a #2 on my bliss. I ended it until the next perp saw how happy I was, I would let myself care, only to have another one do a #2 on my life.
Maybe my picker was broken.
Thankfully, I was clear thinking enough to not be fooled by online romance scammers. The romance scammers exist in real life, too. I may have wasted time with those sorts, was not fooled into giving someone online or in real life, any money.
Finally, I was able to clearly identify this cycle, so as to break the cycle.
THIS TIME
While allowing myself to heal emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, the biggest step I took was to let myself adjust to being single & celibate by choice.
PEEPS!
Allowing myself the natural healing was/is a life changer!
When a guy approaches me or starts coming onto me, I walk away. Even when my hormones start ticking, even though it is so tempting. Even if a unicorn, Santa & the Easter Bunny tried to convince me.
Of course, I have male acquaintances, platonic male acquaintances. Minus the huggy-kissy-sexy time.
True, platonic interaction which won't harm my peace of mind or knock me up.
(Yeah, I just wrote that!)
It's my personal belief that it was a gift that I could work myself back to the state of blissful being once again. This time would be different.
When one wants to see a change it's necessary to make a change.
I made a change.
Further change?
It became necessary to restrict my time on social media. Spending too much time on social media was (past tense) a hard habit to break.
That's most assuredly an understatement. While allowing, as I admit I was allowing, myself too much time in the fantasy online world of social media.
From experience I know that it's important to replace a habit one wishes to stop, with a more productive habit. To neglect this, the chances are increased that a relapse into the latter is greater.
Creative pursuits, mostly couture & other needle arts, have been a constant in my life for a long time. Having travelled all over the world for the love of this passion, it will most likely remain a part of my life for the rest of my time on earth.
Hopefully afterward, too!
Having also learned that most people have little appreciation for the time it takes to create needlework objects of art, I rarely stitch anything for anyone like I used to.
On rare requests, I still do, I keep it for myself 98% of the time.
As I decreased my time on social media I began devoting more time to a beautiful needlework piece in a trade art-for-art with a guy I served with when we were both active duty military.
The time, work, focus I'm devoting to this piece is making it materialize faster in completion, in beauty, right before my eyes!
The fact that I was working 40 - 80 hours per week for 18 months put some delay on my stitching. Now that the workload has eased up, my stitching projects have been nearing completion faster.
YAY!
In conclusion, it's my humble belief that self limiting time on social media, devoting more of my time to needlework is keeping me in a blissed out state of mind. Also, devoting time to more organizing, cleaning, ridding my home of clutter, also is a contributor.
While I do my happy dance, I wish everyone bliss in their life!
