A very skewed group of phrases I hear a lot is this:
"Nice guys finish last"
"Girls/Women only want the bad boys."
False
There is a difference between a "nice guy" or a wimpy limp wrist guy. Also known as a wimp. Also, it's mostly women/girls who are emotionally damaged who are attracted to the "bad boys", who are also quite damaged, themselves. Such a winning combo.
A "nice guy" is one with self respect. He respects himself, first, then, he extends that courtesy to others. A wimp has no self respect, gives more courtesy to others, disregarding what he needs, how he feels. Others are only treating him in a way he allows.
The guys who are good guys when they could be jerks, players, F-Boys, are truly the best! When a guy gets to the realization that:
Hey! The ladies love me!
I must be quite handsome because of the way girls react to me!
I can charm the knickers off of any female I choose to charm!
To avoid embarrassing the living players of both celebrity status as well as some of them I know who are amongst the living, here goes!
A few examples of males who used their charm to take advantage:
Elvis Presley
Hugh Grant
Wilt Chamberlain
Kobe Bryant
David Cassidy
That's the oh so short, micro list.
For several years, after a deeply painfilled marriage followed by an even more painful divorce, I didn't watch many TV shows at all. I would watch movies or a TV series on DVD. I would sit there, working on an artistic project with the DVD playing. I dated a bit, here & there. It was very frightening as to who was out there & all the lying, all the cheating, all the violent date crimes.
Something I noticed, which I had never taken notice of before, was how many guys played women & girls like pianos. As in multiples. Keeping several women as well as their wife on a string all at once, it was so disappointing to realize how horrid it had become.
The guys knew they were married, most often lied to other women about it. Keeping up the ruse of being single until they had the truly single woman hooked on him, THEN, fessed up. It can be quite confusing when a guy says he's "taken", yet acts like he is not.
Then, there were/are the ones who use the lie that they are "separated", although, not legally, as it would imply. In their mind, their wife was at home with their children, he had run out to the "store" for the children's cereal for the next day. They were GEOGRAPHICALLY separated, NOT legally as it is implied.
Then, there is the guy who uses the time that he and his wife are truly legally separated, to get laid as often as possible. He will use the lame excuse, "We were separated, so, it was okay." Psssst, hey, buddy? It's NOT okay.
Dr. Jordan Peterson has a very good quote about this.
Examples. As, I believe you may want examples.
Steve Young (Former NFL linebacker )
Simon Baker (very HOT Aussie actor)
My prior landlord (I won't mention his name. So good to his wife!)
Dr. Jordan B Peterson ( University of Toronto, CA psychologist & counselor. His whole countenance lights up when speaking of his wife.
In an admission that I was somewhat sheltered from what's hot on TV, I had not heard of Simon Baker until COVID lock down!
I started watching The Guardian. The star of the series is hot - hott, Mr Simon Baker.
The show is GREAT!
I know that Simon Baker became more known for The Mentalist. In truth, that show has totally escaped me. What I do know is that whilst checking into Simon's background, I found some very surprising & refreshing information. He was born in Tasmania, lived his later childhood years in a surfing town in Australia. He self describes as a somewhat shy, country guy. Looking at his photos before he got a major start, he's far from falling out of the ugly tree!
Simon Baker describes his feelings when he met his wife, Rebecca Rigg. He states that he was blown away by her communication style, how direct she was. He had never met anyone like her, before. They have been married for a skoosh over 20 years, 3 children.
Simon could have easily, with his charm, wit, intelligence & good looks been such a player.
He has that clean cut, "I'm a good guy" look!" Timelessly handsome.
He could have kissed all the girls & none of them would have cried!
Instead?
He CHOSE to be a decent person, faithful to his wife. Devoted to his 3 children. He did what it takes, continues doing what it takes to be a good husband & father. Perfectly imperfect. He's just one.
Good men in the world still exist. Mostly, they are unsung heroes!
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