When you have been taking care of yourself plus a few other people for your whole life. Does it get any easier, like, ever? A counselor once told me that I had learned to be a super shock absorber.
When faced with too many sink or swim occurrences in life, I had to learn to swim. Even taught myself how to actually swim in water.
Many different ways that life has tried to beat me down. Knowing that it has to be me to comfort myself. Has to be me to pick myself up, make a plan, heal myself with almost anything that isn't food or drink. Numbing myself with substances is also a no-fly zone.
When I find myself in a rut or a funk or when someone hurts me, emotionally, spiritually. It's all on me to heal myself. With each experience, figuring out what to do, having a plan B,C,D.E.
Some people will say that it borders on hatred & cynicism when I stay closed up, protecting my vulnerabilities. Choosing safety, peace & happiness over trauma, being used is a choice I will always make.
In this world where so many people love money, will do just about anything to anyone to get more money. More ...More...More.
No amount is ever enough.
So, chasing the almighty lucre, often stepping on others to get to it.
That's when the beast of gold oozes in.
The golden rule.
The ones with the most gold can make their own rules.
Watching the people around me as they go through life with the sour & the sweet. I noticed that when they are grieving, there are people around them. Checking on them. Taking them out for lunch or dinner. Sending flowers to them, writing messages of encouragement.
It's rare that people do that for me. My dear friend, Janice, is my rock-solid friend. Known each other for most of our lives. She says that I am like that for her as well. Which is very nice. Win-Win.
After a 16 hour drive, arriving at my destination. A whole week or more of time with family.
When I finally made it, me & my big beautiful Doberman, PJ. The bold, beautiful adventure started.
There were adjustments made, for sure. Going from barely above sea level to 4,500 or so above sea level. The dryness, the adjustment.......
yeah.
It has been absolutely wonderful. It's easy to forget how much I love & miss family members until we embrace once again.
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