The Spook Life

Yeah - yeah, the spooky season has passed. I ain't afraid of no ghost!

This will be a more personal blog entry. 

You have been told, proceed with a spook on, let's go!

As a child, I started having spiritual experiences at the tender age of around 4 years, it was normal for me. Reality for me was that I believed everyone had the same experiences. When I spoke to my mother about my experiences, she told me that if I told people about my connection to the spirit world, I might be taken away to a funny farm.

Needless to say, I kept it to myself.

As I lived, learned, grew in spiritual understanding, I attributed my experiences of the thin veil between the human world & the spirit world to my Native American heritage.

One day, I made the shocking discovery that my mother had some very spiritual experiences, albeit, less than me, still, very profound.

I had my first OBE often referred to as an NDE at around 4 years of age. It was beautiful, felt very serene, I wanted to stay there. Alas, I was told that I had to go back, that I would return forever when it was my time.

In addition to the first, three more similar to the first one, enraptured me, every time. Almost a feeling of limerence, maybe in agape form.

There were a myriad of other spiritual types of experiences I had.

The WUG life chose me. 

At times, I could hear other people's thoughts. One such experience was when I went raspberry picking with a friend. We were on opposite sides of the long bramble hedge. I heard her, clearly say, "This is just like the times I spent picking raspberries when I was a child."

I spoke out loud, "Isn't this just like when you picked raspberries when you were a child?"

She ran so fast, around the briar hedge to ask me if I heard what she had been thinking. Answering truthfully, I told her that I had heard her thoughts, all of them. 

Sometimes I would see what a person's future held for them. A sort of prophesy, if you will, even if you won't.  👼

People have told me, many times, that I could make some serious cheddar if I were to give readings for profit. It's my personal belief that it would be wrong for me to do this. My spiritual gift is so precious to me, using it to make money would feel like prostitution. My spiritual gift was given to me for a holy purpose, to help others, also, to protect myself. Others with a similar gift are free to do as they wish, it's a very personal decision.

A reoccurring gift that has been more frequent than others is to be able to know the gender of a baby. A few times I knew a woman was with child even before she knew. Having been 100% correct, it still amazes me that this gift is so accurate.

Maybe it happens due to the fact that I'm spiritually sensitive, very receptive to intuitions that are given to me. I just might be a magnet, the kind that attracts spirits as maybe the word got out in the spirit realm.

"Psst! There's this spiritually receptive chick who can see & hear you, you're welcome, now, get down to spirit biz."

After ending a marriage that had turned abusive, life seemed so dark, hopeless. Only a very few people who I actually thought, cared about me, stuck by me. The rest showed me how little they cared by deserting me. During some of my darkest times, I received encouragement. A voice would speak to me inside my head. Usually when I was killing it on a cardio machine. 

Be honest!

Did you think the voices of encouragement might have been telling me to eat that brownie or commit crimes? Didja?

Nay, I say, the message was the same every time. It said:

"Keep going, life will get better. All that you have lost, want to have back, again will come to you, if you just keep going."

So, I believed, trusted the message, lived with a grateful attitude that it would happen.

Little by little, the encouraging message came true. In fact, it began happening in aces!

Most of that which I had lost that I wanted to come back to me, came back plus a few wonderful aspects that seemed to be out of my reach, began to appear to me. This is more about aspects of life than it is about material things, although there were a few material things.

I had always known I had a guardian angel. Prior to that miserable, post-divorce time, I had felt the presence, had never seen her/him in physical form. When some deep, pain filled disappointments hit me one right after the other, I felt so beaten down.

There was no appetite for anything in me.

Laying on my bed, in deep despair, I truly wanted to die. Barely taking sips of water, deeply hoping I would die. I was living completely alone for the first time in my life on the third floor in a beautiful 2 BR 2 BA townhome with a lovely view of the Colorado Rockies.

Fading in then out of consciousness for a few days, taking an occasional few sips of water. The relief of feeling myself grow weaker was a comfort. I laid there wondering how long it would take for me to slip into a coma then pass on.

I felt the sensation of a presence, next to my bed. In my spirit I knew exactly who it was. A feeling of warmth in my whole body came over me. I opened my eyes, unexpectedly, standing at the right side of my bed, there was my guardian angel. Just as solid as a real, living human being. Many people might be frightened by this, it was a curious moment. 

I knew who this was.

The members of the church I had been attending, had shunned me when the news of me leaving then divorcing the abusive ex. 

This was the start of my decision to leave organized religion.

Having always been more spiritual than religious, it made more sense.

My guardian stood by the side of my bed, looking at me with such a look of pained compassion, strong silent love. While the comfort was extended to me, I had to choose whether to accept it or not. At that point, I was questioning everything. Even wondering who God was or if there was a God. For the last 5 years of the marriage, I had prayed, on my knees, crying, begging to have the heart of the man I was married to, to be touched. For him to be less selfish, less cruel, to stop lying to me, to stay away from other women, to appreciate me, more. I prayed for his guidance, direction, understanding, tell me or show me what to do, how to save my marriage.

It felt like God had turned away from me.

When the guardian angel extended love, comfort, compassion to me? 

Right or wrong, I turned away. The feeling was that God had deserted me, I didn't want whatever was being offered. Laying there in my bed, I felt the angel's presence lingering. I fell asleep again, when I awoke, I felt the presence, no longer in physical form.

There have been times when a person I was blood related to or emotionally close to, came to me to tell me good bye around the time they passed on. 

A man who was like a father to me, I had even called him, Dad, he had been in poor health for a long time. He came to me in voice only. I was having a restless night, sleep just wasn't happening. I went into the living room of the home where I lived with the huzz & kiddos at the time. I laid on the sofa, looking out at the night sky. Then, I heard his voice very clearly.

He said:

"Brenda, I wanted to tell you that I'm leaving, now. I left you a gift of a large sum of money. I wanted to tell you that you are such a sweetheart, I love you. Now, I'm going."

I answered him, "Thank you, Dad, I love you, I will miss you!"

Just a couple minutes later, his son called me to tell me he had passed on. I felt sad for a few months after that, though I was happy that he was no longer in pain.

Also, I knew that his wife & firstborn son would mistakenly believe that I didn't know about the money Dad left for me. They kept it for themselves. I suppose their integrity has a dollar amount attached to it. 

A few years after that, I was living in El Dorado, a suburb of the canal zone, Republic of Panama'. Due to the abuse, by my parents, when I was a child, then, the cruelly selfish actions of my mother when I was an adult, I had ejected her from my life a few years earlier. Sent her a letter, telling her goodbye & why. She never approved of me or anything I did. It was time to stop hoping for or putting effort in to get her love or approval. I was done.

I was lying in bed, it was around 2 am. I was married at the time, he was asleep, snoring loudly, keeping me semi awake.

I had not seen nor spoken to my mother in almost 5 years. I opened my eyes, sat up when I heard her voice. Then, I saw her, just her upper front torso, a younger looking face, her beautiful red hair.

"Brenda? It's mom. I wanted to tell you I'm sorry for everything I did to hurt you. I'm going, now, just wanted to say goodbye."

I replied, "It's okay, Mom, goodbye."

Just then, the huzz stopped snoring, asked me who I was talking to.

He went back to sleep, no snoring, so I could sleep, too!

www.miramontcastle.org

When I lived in Colorado Springs, the town of Manitou Springs was very close. Manitou Springs is one of the most haunted places I have ever been. It was sacred ground to Native Americans until it was taken from them. 

Miramont Castle is a beautiful place in Manitou Springs, to take a self-guided tour for a small admission fee. It's also, very haunted. I went there regularly, to walk around, by myself. Though no one who was alive was with me very often, I had several entities to keep me company. I acknowledged them & they acknowledged me.

There have been so many of these spiritual experiences, there are more every day. People speak of the paranormal, for me it's simply normal. Everyday occurrences.

It can be called "the spirit" or "the Holy Spirit". Whatever's clever or what name is given; the messages given to me, speaking to me usually inside my head have always been 100% correct. Kind of like a muscle. The more I exercise trust, follow the guidance that is given, the stronger it becomes. Also, more frequently.

I used to treat it like cafeteria guidance, picking & choosing what to follow, what to ignore. I learned to follow the guidance nearly 100%.

It makes sense.

If a person, mostly ignored you, when you spoke to them, you might speak to them less or stop speaking to them at all. It seems to work like that.

When I have heard the saying, "Every zoo is a petting zoo if you have enough confidence." It causes my own introspection, "Everything is haunted when a person is spiritually sensitive."

Life can be good-haunted.