The Hollow

When all you can do is sit alone  

Thinking about him

Struggling to imagine your life

Living without him

It's a feeling of the abysmal ache

The hollow in your chest

How to live with half of your heart

Because you gave him the rest

You might hold onto the clothes you wore

During happy times you both knew

Use up that last drop of perfume he loved

(on the bathroom rug)

If you don't it's okay that I do

It's more work to fall asleep now

Waking from a beautiful dream so real

Coming down from the high it gave

Withdrawals from the way he made you feel

Its replacement was a cheap dupe

The hollowness was such a let down

Sure didn't see that happening to me

Life was a circus & I was the clown

Hello how are you is just something people regurge

People say it while most don't want me to say

If I told them the truth of the mess my mind is

They would tell me to take it to Jesus to pray

So I take baby steps in so called self care

A Yoga class a long sweat to my happy place

That which heals me a little each day

Softens the dreaded RB Face

Take a ceramics class or basket weaving after that

Take a library book home with you read it to yourself

Take it back from whence you got it in 7 days or more

Just like the loaner put your heart back on a shelf

Give it time as your broken-ness heals but go slow

Give it fresh air with sunshine with ocean if you can

Give it sweet words full of such encouragement!

Give it all to yourself that you gave to a man

(Get some vitamin sea!)

Love him deeply with all of the hot passion you did

Go hard girl this one last big glorious time that cleanses

Then start the new life you've been promising you

Throw a solo party when you finally get your menses

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These are simply my musings as I reflect on having my heart broken too many times during the years I was a single girl. Out there in the jungle of predators, weak little bunnies, wolves in sheepskins. Then, there were the scant true blues who kept hope alive in me that I would eventually meet Mr. Right, leaving the MR RIGHT NOWS behind. 

After a while a girl has to realize that she has to be her own best friend, that there is evil that exists in the world that goes looking for sincere people to devour for their pleasure. As cliche' as this is, the people of the world will hurt you, use you, toss you aside carelessly whether you are one who truly tries to do what is right or not. It matters so little to the selfish ones who want whatever they want. Whether it's good for you or others & even if it isn't.

These have been my musings. Getting them out onto a window to my soul aka my personal blog feels good. Whether right or wrong or any shade in between. Here it is.

Pamper yourself with self-care, self-love, self-indulgence. Just enough to begin to fill the hollow places in your heart, mind & spirit.

Excess within control.